Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Some jobs you gotta suck for 7 years

The Detriots Lions, The NFL's worst team ever, has gotten drastically better today, witht he firing of Matt Millen. He managed to fuck up, an already fucked up team, ever bettter or worse, than ANYONE could ever imagined possible. It was so fucked up even Ford, the makers of such great rides as the exploding rollover SUV, the escort, and the Flaming Pinto, even THEY finally had enough of Millen's ineptitude to say YOU SUCK.

THis year the Lions started 0-3 and were blown out every game, they got a bye week this week, and will in all likelyhood lose this weekend as well.

The 0-3 start dropped Millen to 31-84 overall, giving the Lions at least 10 more losses than any other NFL team the past seven-plus seasons during one of the worst stretches in league history.


ok lets put it another way. you are a teacher, and out of the 115 kids you taught over 7 years, only 31 grauduated , would you still have a job ? if you were a pimp and only 31 of your whores were suckin and fuckin, would you still be rollin a cadiliac ? if only 31 rubbers out 115 stopped people from getting knockedup.... you get the picture. its not good.


people give him shit about the high draft picks that didnt pan out, and i can actually spare him on that, its tough to figure out of a 20 year old kid is gonna be able to play great with men who have been playing at a professional level for years. what blows my mind is picking Wide Recievers in the first round for 3 years!!!! the quarterbacks are getting killed matt, how are they going to get the ball to those guys ? your defense just gave up 250 yards rushing to the blinded amputee. even he spotted the huge gaps in the d line. a wise man once told me, you need to do only 3 things to be successful in football, you gotta be able to run, gotta beable to block, gotta be able to tackle. everything in football falls into place on those 3 keystones. you cant pass, if you cant block, cant stop nobody if you dont tackle, cant catch up to anyone if you dont run.

now, im not the most athletic guy, was never able to make it into pro let alone college div 1 football, but even i know you dont sign washed up guys, to play on your defense. there is a reason why denver traded you tatum bell, who was there 1000 yard rusher. dan wilkinson was never known as a great run stopper and you brought him in to stop the run ? these are just samples of his blounders. detriot fans deserve better, even if they do live in detriot.


Monday, September 15, 2008

ladanian tomlinson, biggest pussy ever ?

as the title boasts, im taking a poll. to me when a runningback keeps himself out of a game against not only a division rival, but an undegeated rival, OVER A SORE TOE, that means he is a big pussy, then you add in the fact he took himself out of the afc TITLE GAME THE GAME THAT TAKES YOU TO THE SUPER BOWL THE PINACLE OF NFL EXCELLENCE, you are a giant vagina.( to the one maybe 2 women that read this blog, please no offense, you ladies are way tougher than ladanian, or even i for that matter, but i know not a better derogatory term for such a pussy.) here is a nother thing to think about, there are quarterbacks, the pretty glamour cover boys of the league who are tougher than this gy who is supposed to be in the toughest position in football. peyton manning played through half a season a while back with a broken jaw, missed one snap, AND WENT BACK IN, Donovan mcnabb who is a known for being a running quarterback PLAYED ON A BROKEN LEG, even the most sissified, least respected, almost gayer than lance bass position in football, the kicker, has shown moments of toughness ladanian tomlinson WILL NEVER EVER APPROACH, david ackers, a kicker for the philly eagles, PLAYED AND ENTIRE GAME AND KICKED WITH A PULLED HAMSTRING ON HIS KICKING LEG. you could see the dude wincing just walkin onto the field for extra points he was that fuckin bad, but did he let it keep him off the field ? fuck no, nobody could kick field goals or extra points, that tough bastard went out and did his fuckin job. now, if he was LADANIAN, IF HE WAS A GIANT CRYBABY DOUCHEBAG, PHILLY WOULDA HAD TO GO FOR 2 EVERY FUCKING TIME AND LOST. im not the toughest sonofabitch ever, but i try to play/ work through any ailment, iv done shows with a fever, iv done shows with light sensitive migranes under fuckin spotlights, iv torn ligaments in my fucking knee and still did my job. so my vote for biggest pussy in football goes to ladanian tomlinson, runningback of the san diego chargers, STOP CALLING HIM LT,the real LT lawerence Taylor, if he was hurt ? woulda done another line, and broke your quarterback's leg, and kept on playing.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

NFL PREDICTIONS

i did this one a week before the regular season started, so its minus Brady. But all that does is effect the afc east, so i now say the jets take the division.

NFL PREDICTIONS

awww, finally, the regular season is upon us, no more shitty fucking preseason games, though i dont curse them as much, its football, and shitty football is still better than the best baseball, period.

i shall start with the nfc east, because it will probably be the most exciting division to watch next to the afc south. the giants, the slayers of sir cheat alot brian billicheat and tom brady, they lost their 2 great defensive ends, one to injury, one to retirement, but bascially the same squad that caught fire late in the season and knocked tommy brady on his ass in the superbowl. this is a team built for playoff football, so i dont think they care about winning division titles, they are about the playoffs and this will show because i think they are good for 2nd in their division. i think the eagles win the division if mcnabb stays healthy. they are solid everywhere on offense but not great any spot outside qb. westbrook isa versatile back but hes 30 watch out for old man time at that spot. the addition of speed at the wr spot in the draft should help tremendously. the cowboys will once again rely on terrell owens and jessica simpson romo. the redskins play in this division too.

the nfc north.

in case you just came to america recently, brett favre no longer plays for green bay. error rodgers will just be the starter till they can find someone better. they wont win the division, but should be atleast 8-8. they got a good defense, but they also have error rodgers, which for those of you who follow college ball at all, came from cal, and cal doesnt make pro quarterbacks, just ask kyle boller, chris redman, and another tedford product, akili smith. the bears have a great defense, and a great punt/ kick returner. once they decide which quarterback to fire, they should look forward to a nice high draft pick or maybe god turns rookie rb Forte into walter payton. the lions tis year will still be chanting fire millen, and still wont make the playoffs. that leaves the minnesota vikings as winners of the most storied division in football div champs by default. adrian peterson will have a great year, an amazing one if tavaras jackson stays healthy and learns to pass the ball to bernard berrian.

nfc south
the saints are once again getting chased out due to hurricanes, the last time that happeend they made the playoffs, so im gonna say that happens again. but reggie bush still sucks and is just a glorified 60 million dollar punt returner. real running backs run up the middle, reggie looks at the middle and cries. the falcons found out who let the dogs out last season, and they arent coming back for 10-20. 6 wins is a good number for this team in rebuilding. the buccaneers had a shot at favre, but didnt take it.too bad, jeff garcia is no favre. they are a wildcard team at best. which means the panthers are my pick for div champs. their defense is good as ever, and probably the best in the league when healthy. they got a good big back in jonothan stewart who is gonna split carries with speedster deanglelo williams, who can run and catch. dont piss off s teve smith, he will punch your lights out.

nfc west

st louis is gonna suck not just becasue they always suck, but because stephen jackson held out, and hold outs always get hurt. san fransisco is gonna play in candlestick park. arizona is relying on kurt warner, which was only a good idea early 2000. matt lineart fucked paris hilton and seemed to lose his ability to play football. someone should dig in paris's snatch and give it back to him, its just sad.
the seahawks will make it 5 years in a row of winning the division, with a ground game. its gonna have to be due to the ground game, because anyone with a jersey number in the 80's is hurt or will get hurt.

afc east

buffalo is still rebuilding, and is probably waiting for ralph wilson to die so they can move to canada. and then they will emmediatly sign ricky williams who will be high as fuck. the dolphins are rebuilding but i think they can do better than 1-15, i think they got 3-13 in em. the jets did something good for a change, they got brett favre. they got a great offense put together, but that scotch tape defense is just ugly. but they should get 10 wins and be a wild card. that means the dirty cheats the patriots will win the division. but know this, they secondary sucks, their defense is old, they are gonna need moss and brady alot.

afc north

the cincinatti beentojails are a mess, when they manage to keep everyone out of jail, they cant stay healthy. chad johnson or the wide reciever formerly known as is hurt so is hush, they got rid of their one good rb, these guys will be lucky to hit 7 wins with carson palmers broken nose. the baltimore ravens still got a good d but how much longer i dunno. they are aging fast, they have no quarterback. the pissburg steelers will go as far as ben roethlesburger takes em, which could be playoffs with a few breaks. i think cleveland wins the division outright this year. they gota great offense, they can run, they can pass, they got a young and talented d.

the afc west

the afc west will be won by the broncos this year i think, and lemme tell you why. the chargers are talented but their best player, ladanian tomlinson, just gave up on them last year in the afc title game. one step to the superbowl and you just quit ? i dont like that, borrow shawn merrimans needle kit and get out there. bronco qb cutler is getting better every year, and they will pound the ball again, and marshall's suspension is now just one game. the raiders will make some noise with mcfadden, who is my pick for ROY. kansas city had a great draft, but htey are rebuilding their defense and ofeensive lines, give em a year.

afc south

the most fun division in my opinion to watch this season. the texans ruin an otehrwise flawless division. they will stink but atleast be competitive. the jaguars and titans are gonna fight to the death for second place in the division, because they are virtually the same team. good qbs rb, no wrs. both have great defenses whose only weak link is in the secondary. the colts will pull off the div title, if they can be healthier than they were last year. the offense is the same as last year, and thats not bad at all. if the health of bob sanders and freeney isnt restored, it could be a long season for peyton manning.

colts vs eagles in the super bowl

THE HEX IS IN !!!!!!!!

The HEX is IN!!!!!
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

i did a blog a couple days ago about how everyone i love dies, and people who know me know i hate tom brady, new england patriots quarterback. well a few days, after i posted it, he gets TAKEN OUT FOR THE YEAR, first game of the season right after i said i love tom brady !!! my best friend calls me up laughin saying dont tell me you love me anymore, another friend starts suggesting other people i should "love." its crazy, i wasnt wishing death or injury upon him, i was just wanting a 0-16 season or something like that. i wanted bill belicheck the head coach to get caught with a lil boy in a hotel room. never wanted personal injury on the guy. but it worked, and now hopefully, the colts or titans can make it to the superbowl this year without the major roadblock of tom brady and the patriots.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Watch Out I'M DANGEROUS

this is a blog i did on myspace, and not 4 days later, Tom Brady Goes Down For The Season. Coincidence ? Perhaps.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

All my heroes are unavailible
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I have been doing alot of mental inventory lately since my failed engagement. thinkin what i can do to better myself, and taking a look at the paths that got me here. and i realized the important people iv admired are dead. heres the list, my dad, dead, bill hicks dead, sam kinison, dead, walter payton, dead. and when i say admire, i dont mean worship, they are people, people fail and are frail and are no differnt than you our i. im starting to think either im a necrophiliac, or im hazardous to peoples health. im the kiss of death and april 15 and the ides of march all wrapped up in a nice 6'4 frame. so just to test out my theory, tom brady is my new hero. he plays quarterback, he wins, he bangs hot chicks. whats not to love ? tom the josh lay curse is coming for you fucker !!!